Thursday, November 24, 2016

Trump Said He Will Never Ride a Bicycle: Get Him On One Now!


Cyclists everywhere may be a little freaked out by the election results.  After all, Donald Trump has been quoted as saying, "I swear I will never ride a bicycle."  (Apparently he did hold one up at least once, unless this image is shopped.)
This is something we have to change or he will never understand the pure joy that is riding.

To this community: I will buy a drink for the first man, woman or child to get Trump up and riding around.

I wonder if he can ride a bike.  Maybe he was never taught, which may explain everything.

He has sworn to do, or not do, a lot of other things he later abandoned (wedding vows, going after political rivals like a Banana Republic dictator, etc.).

He criticized John Kerry for riding a bicycle, though Trump himself sponsored the largest bike ride in America, Tour de Trump, from 89-90. 

Cyclists finishing the Tour de Trump were greeted by protestors holding signs directed at Trump himself, some of which said "Eat the Rich."

Trump's criticism focused on Kerry's bike "racing" - though Kerry was not racing, but was riding - which Trump suggested was undignified for a man of Kerry's 72 years of age.  (Not to be confused with the indignity of chasing much younger women who could not possibly be genuinely attracted to you, but may instead have their eyes fixed on your wallet, or talking like the crudest adolescent boy in the world at least five decades after anyone can beg to be excused, or revealing that you think women the spoils of wealth.  Which does not exactly show the best of a 70 year old man.)

I think Kerry was doing what he should do at his age.

Photo from

It's hard to anticipate how a new administration in Washington will affect the development of bike lanes since my colleagues in transportation policy tell me "it's about to be four long years of roads."

Maybe.  Maybe not.  The Chicago Reader is already analyzing what the future holds for bike lanes:

If you are a true conservative, don't you care about costs?
Like public healthcare costs and costs to businesses?  (The same businesses who have experienced increased healthcare costs as the obesity epidemic and American sedentariness say an escalation in Type-2 diabetes that was unprecedented in any nation.)

Rumor afoot is that Trump ate fast food the entire time he was traveling on the campaign and never exercised.  Hmmm.  Time to get on a bike.  Right now, actually.  Today.  Age be damned.

Trump may not have considered the practicality of cycling infrastructure in cities, or it impact of the environment.  After all, Trump's statements denying climate change suggest that he may not understand the global movement away from fossil fuel driven modes and to sustainable transport will not be on his immediate agenda.  Polar icecaps are melting.  That is not a myth or propaganda.  Those photos from space are not shopped.  Even Republican Hank Paulson has staked his business on getting companies to see the real risk to the financial sector that his posed by climate change.

Deducing Trump's priorities from this behavior we might conclude that he will not care about bike paths, bike lanes or cycling safety.  So let's make him care.

To you my fellow cyclists:  Pick yourselves up.  Brush yourselves off.

Donate to any bike advocacy group you can.  (Even a small amount.) Volunteer.  Model good cycling behavior. (Don't threatened the fat guy in the black SUV who cut you off.  Just shake your head and ride on.)  Show off your awesome lean form as you ride.  Talk up cycling at the water cooler.

Start a"Get Trump Riding" petition.  Lobby Congress.
Never give up.  NEVER GIVE UP.  #nevergiveup.  (For Washington locals.) (Nationwide)
And here is a list in . . . Wikipedia?

Ride on.

Contact me via Google+ if you get him up and on a bicycle.  (Golf carts, quad and tricycles do not count.  Photos must be capable of authentication through metadata.)

So if I see you, or even Donald Trump, in the bike lanes, let's be smug, though we will certainly be smugger, and he will be thinner and healthier.

Elisa P.

PS:  In other news:

Community meeting in Pittsburg on bike lanes Dec. 14.  Live there?  Go.

Hearing on expanding bike lanes in Chicago suburbs, Cook County this coming Tuesday, November 29.  Live there?  Go.

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