Sunday, September 6, 2015

Helmets Kill Hair but Not the Joy of Cycling

Helmets.  I do wear one, but sometimes I wonder why.  Helmets have been proven to deter bike share use, particularly among women.  And some states have mandatory bike helmet laws requiring bike share companies to provide  helmets.  Seattle faces this issue and has to clean helmets and restore damage constantly.  It has proven to be very expensive.   Now I do like my brain, but I think my arms, legs a ribs are at greater risk in an urban environment when I am cycling.  Helmets are hairstyle assassins, unforgiving, and annihilating.   And I am not engaging in hyperbole.  Lanes, on the other hand, work better to protect urban cyclists, so says a study from the University of Bath, the city in England, not the one in which you soak your aching thighs.  Solution obvious?

Mashable reports that the starving death of horses in Germany was the catalyst for the invention of cycles.  Cheery, eh?  In any event, I thank those suffering equines for their sacrifice to the benefit of mankind.  (With that level of logic, I could run successfully for political office!  Send donations to my campaign through
Cycling Weekly has published 10 reasons why cycling to work is great.  Among them, the avoidance of stinky buses.  My occasional bus is not stinky, but it is so incredibly slow that I fear a change of season will occur before I get to my destination.  The main reason for riding to work is joy, and avoidance of glue.  Allow me to explain.  I sat on the bus next to a woman applying two false eyelashes with glue while she berated someone on her cellphone.  And she was ample, to be generous.  Very ample.  I was pinched.  And I was done with the slow bus.  I agree whole-heartedly with the idea that cyclists arrive at work smug.  Terribly, intensely smug.

Los Angeles now has a bicycle-themed and bike-accommodating restaurant according to the LA Times.  Hmmm.  Folly.  Mere trend, I cry.  Wouldn't it make more sense to have an otherwise great restaurant with a place to put your bicycle?  I am madly in love with the staff at Washington's Spanish restaurant Taberna del Alabardero, who take my Pashley into the parking garage while I dine there.  Then they bring it back.  Que bueno.  #Tabernadelalabardero

Summer in Europe was wet and is blamed for a drop in sales of bikes.  Really?  #skeptical

NPR has reported a rising number of injuries associated with older adults turning to cycling.  The good news is that people are also getting healthier and thinner from cycling.  I'll take it.  And I welcome older riders since it is always great to see people re-locate the joy of childhood.

If you are a really dedicated commuter and you want to listen to music or make calls while riding, there may soon be a helmet for that.  A very expensive helmet.  Why you would want to befoul the experience of riding by making calls I cannot imagine.  But, I guess if you must, this is one way to do it.  There's a guy on the Hill who has this wired.  His bike is his home, laden with plastic grocery bags full of clothes, a blow horn, and a 1980s boom box attached by a bungee cord.  He pedals his ancient cruiser around to the thumping beats of Chuck Brown and Parliament Funkadelic.  While his music choice is not exactly contagious, it is smile provoking.  He did not need to buy a helmet equipped for sound for several thousand dollars to find his groove.  Then again, he does not appear to care to impress anyone, if he ever did.

If you are not using your bike, you could rent it out through Air Donkey.  The kit is coming to Kickstarter soon.  Anyone know where this concept is working?  I have reservations.  What if you go berserk after you loan your bike, have an anxiety attack, and imagine the lessee is trying to take away your bike-bike?  You vow to recover it immediately, and chase after the borrower and try to yank your bike out from under him/her, while shouting a promise of a refund.  A minor scuffle ensues before you return to your senses just as the confused police officer arrives hoisting his belt and touching his gun.  Just wondering?  I'm not saying it has happened, I'm just saying that it could.

So if I see you in the bike lane, with or without a helmet, even if you do not see me because your are trying to appear important by using your over-priced helmet phone, let's be smug.
Elisa P.

No comments:

Post a Comment